Rants, Ramblings, and Randomness

The First Amendment

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:04:01 GMT

Last week, my father had his traditional bonfire (before the summer burn ban kicks in.)
The flames got 15 feet high and sparks flew to 125 feet before going out. It had rained early that morning and we were worried it would be too wet to burn, but the combination of the christmas tree and other small timber made it able to burn pretty fast actually...
Once it burnt down to mostly ashes, we roasted hot dogs on coat hangers and sat around talking.
I got to thinking about fires and their significance and my mind drifted to a few years in the past. I was brought back to a bonfire at one of a few scouting events where the scouts performed a ritual of reverence, respect, and duty. The ritual was a retiring/destruction of an aged and faded american flag. Per the US Flag Code (which is not law, by the way, just suggested treatment), retired flags are not to be thrown away, but to be destroyed in a manner such that no one comes across the symbol of our country dirtied and tattered in a dump somewhere. As an adult leader in the BSA, my father was entrusted with a few such flags because it was known that he was with the Scouts and could facilitate the proper care for the flag. One had been sitting in his closet for a few years because after I left for college, he was no longer active with our troop.
Seeing the fire burning, I remembered the flags and resolved to not let them gather (any more) dust on a shelf. I segmented the flag into 63 pieces (64 if you count the hoist halyard, from which the flag flies). Each stripe representing the 13 original states and each star representing the 50 current states was placed on the fire one by one, and after being torn asunder, were reunited and the ashes from all were indistinguishable and inseperable once again, forever joined.
This is a symbolic ceremony which I understand the need for and the significance of. I am a red-blooded American who believes in democracy (well, really the democratic republic) in which we live. I have the utmost respect for every American who has worn the uniform of our Armed Forces, those who have volunteered to serve, and anyone who has dedicated their lives for the good of the people. Whatever the current politial situation, I have faith that the American way of life will endure and that this country will always serve as a beacon for all those people who long for the freedoms granted to us.
Although the first amendment only explicitly grants the right to the freedom of speech (except for those words which, by their very nature, involve danger to the public peace and to the security of the state - the Clear and Present Danger argument and other exceptions), it has, through judicial means, been expanded to cover the freedom of all means of expression. Texas vs. Johnson (1989) was one to address flag-burning specifically, and in absence of the 'Breach of the Peace exclusion, was a lawful and protected expression under the First Amendment. One dissenting opinion of Supreme Court Justine Stevens stated, "It is a symbol of freedom, of equal opportunity, of religious tolerance, and of good will for other peoples who share our aspirations...The value of the flag as a symbol cannot be measured."
That flag must however stand for ALL OUR FREEDOMS, INCLUDING the freedom to Burn that flag as an expression when we feel it is necessary. The whole point of the Bill of Rights was to guarantee those rights bestowed upon the citizenry that which the constitution neglected.
Often, the flag is burned in protest of some policy or law or iniative (or election) in effect which the protester feels so strongly about that there is no other means to express. Flag-burning was a common occurance at protests against the Vietnam "conflict" and more recently against "Operation Iraqi Freedom" as the justification for invasion was proven to be under increasingly false pretenses.
States have tried passing flag-burning prohibitions before, but all have been struck down as unconstitutional. There has been an amendment to the U.S. Constitution specifically prohibiting the desecration (by burning or other means) of a flag in 'a way that the actor knows will seriously offend one or more persons likely to observe or discover his action'. Passage of such an amendment would impinge on our rights on Freedom of Thought, as it is the Intent of the flag-burner which determines whether he or she would be subject to punishment for the act. The current language of the amendment would only permit the US Congress (not individual states) of passing laws banning the act and as such violators would be brought before Federal Courts.

I love this country (most of the time) and for which it stands (don't get me started about One Nation Under God; Free Exercise of Religion is another right granted in the First Amendment).
However at some point you have to step back and ask, "Are these things being prohibited in the name of national security really worth that which is being taken away?"

Art Imitating Life Imitating Art

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 00:03:23 GMT

I've heard it said before that Art Imitates Life which Imitates Art ad infinitum (pardon my Latin mangulation). I have noticed this recently as I am watching The Sopranos beginning to end. I watch episodes that tie eerily to current events. On the 6 year anniversary of 9/11, I happened to watch an episode that mentioned it. There was a news story playing as part of a Plot line talking about OJ Simpson and the next day, we heard about how OJ had just gotten back in the news for assaulting/robbing a guy over some souvenirs. Sunday for my birthday, my family went to the Fox Theater in Atlanta to see a theatrical reproduction of a performance put on at the Sands Hotel in 1960 by the Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin et al).
2 days later I watch an episode, "Whitecaps", where the recording of that Sands performance is being blared loudly from the boat owned by Tony Soprano.
I realize its just incredibly coincidental timing on my part and not everything that happens in the 6 seasons of the show correlates to something now, its just that those 3 things (plus a few others) stuck out in my mind...

And yes, I know its been a while since I posted on LJ, but I thought I should put this where somebody might read it.

Do it Rockapella!

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 03:05:54 GMT

Yeah, so the Glee Club (or rather 12 of us) opened for Rockapella (with the help of NBT, SV, and IH). We only got to sing 2 songs or rather 2 pieces (5 songs really), but I think we did pretty good. And then we got free tickets to stay and listen to Rockapella. And they were really good.

Tech-ness

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:42:16 GMT

I have returned to GT (hopefully the last time for classes).
I have a pretty busy schedule with the 4 ME classes I need to graduate plus band and glee club.
Band is gonna be awesome this year, with all the new people and all the old people too! I am excited about September 2nd. I think we will have a good chance against ND.
Is it too early to be thinking about graduation in December? I guess 3 years of senioritis will do that...

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:04:40 GMT

You know you're a redneck jedi when..

You hear "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

You ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

I'm getting closer...

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 13:22:59 GMT

The 7 Degrees of Anybody

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 15:50:26 GMT

So I watched 3 new movies this weekend: Clerks II, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and My Super ex-Girlfriend.
For the 2 sequals, I watched the originals beforehand just so I would not miss anything.
Clerks II was awesome. Me and only 6 other people enjoyed the 7:00 show on opening night. True, it was Fort Oglethorpe, GA, so I don't expect the hugest turnout, but still... Kevin Smith created a fitting sequal to his first movie, examining clerks whose lives were the same and just as unsatisfying. Rosario added the little punch to counter the donkey scene drawbacks...
Pirates 2 was pretty good. They did use a LOT of special effects, and it was a little disappointing because they went so far to create a segway to the third pirates movie. Depp was at his A-game though, as were Bloom and Knightley. I am still fuzzy on couple of details but maybe I just need to go see it again. I literally got the last ticket to that showing, as the couple in front of me asked for 2 tickets to it and they were unavailable. :-)
I wasn't planning on seeing My Super ex-Girlfriend, but I was there and had no plans, so I watched it. It was geared towards adults, and some of it was a little blunt, but I wouldn't expect otherwise from Luke Wilson (You can tell he's aging by his enlargening jowls).
I told you that story so I could tell you this one. Everybody always talks about the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon. For those of you who don't know about this, supposedly you can link anybody to the actor Kevin Bacon through common movies, tv, relationships, etc...
Clerks II stars all of Kevin Smith's friends, family, and previous movie's actors including Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Also, Wanda Sykes appears as the irate customer when Randall throws out a (unknown-to-him) racial slur. She also appeared in My Super ex-Girlfriend as the direct supervisor of Luke Wilson and encourages his co-worker to press Sexual Harrassment charges. The ex-Girlfriend is played by Uma Thurman, who also stars in the new Producers (with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick) which I bought wednesday on a whim. Will Ferrell stars in this movie as the writer of "Springtime for Hitler" and ends up supposed to be the star when it opens on broadway. After Lane and Broderick tell him to 'Break a Leg', he does, setting into action the mistake that turns their guaranteed flop into a smashing sucess. Will Ferrell stars in the Austin Powers series as Mustafa with an unknown (to-me) Brazil Joseph Grisaffi, who stars in Pirates 2. Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, is produced by Demi Moore. I went to watch Austin Powers again once I learned of the Ferrell-Grasaffi connection. I turn on the TV and what is showing? A Few Good Men starring Demi Moore as a JAG defense attorney. And the prosecutor? you got it... Kevin Bacon.

Oh yeah, and Pirates was directed by Jerry Bruckheimer who also directed Pearl Harbor, starring.... Ben Affleck.

These are not colors...

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 13:18:14 GMT

Orange is the only color that shares its name with a fruit

Cranberry, Almond, Peach, and Biscuit are names reserved for food.

How long til we are driving around 'Kobe Beef' Suburu's and painting our living rooms 'Cantaloupe'?
Next thing you know Frito Lay will be liscensing their 'Nacho Cheese Dorito' color for use in paint kids play center restrooms...

Work, Work, and More Work

Thu, 25 May 2006 18:12:19 GMT

Me? Update? INCONCIEVEABLE!
So I finished the spring semester of school and have started the summer semester of work. I am back at the Roper Corporation in La Fayette (Luh Fayiett) GA.
It hasn't changed much except the people who I work for. The assignments are the same, but the pay is good.

If anybody needs a break and decides to head for Chattanooga or NW Georgia for a weekend, let me know.
I would welcome company.

East Point Police are odd

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 18:47:59 GMT

I have noticed that East Point police often park their cruisers in speed-trap appearing locations along the main road, possibly to deter speeding and etc. I usually don't speed in the 40 mph limit area, but the presence of the cruiser does get me to check my speedometer just in case.
Apparently the word is spreading:

"Non-plastic Russian traffic police are widely known for accepting bribes..."
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060206/D8FJCOJO0.html

Its Over!

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 21:03:52 GMT

And... shit.
I know I never update, and I probably should considering all the crap that needs expressing, especially Tech stuff.
So here's the reader's digest version:
This semester's classes sucked, mostly due to ME 3056 lab reports, which I spent too much time on. I should end up with a B, but it meant not doing as much as I could in Heat Transfer or Machine Design (which I already failed once). I really have to pass both to keep my "program GPA" over a 2.0 (yea, its that bad) and to avoid adding another semester to my already lengthened stay. *EDIT: I did get a C in Machine Design (which I had failed previously), but I failed HT. There is room for me to retake it in the spring, but I needed it for classes with that as a pre-requisite which I have already registered for. I have gotten overrides for 2 of the 3 classes, now just waiting on one for Manufacturing Proc. (4210). But it is the same professor from Machine Design, so maybe he will see that I got a C and isn't able to tie my name to the face that got to class late 98% of the time. :-) /EDIT*
Music Theory was fun and I learned about all that stuff which I understood, just couldn't put a name to it. Glee Club was awesome, and I was hoping to actually go to Hawaii, like was promised at the beginning of the year, but no thought was given to raising money until it was too late. Now only a selective few get to go. :-(
Marching Band kept me sane. I am glad for everybody who lent a sympathetic ear when Tech was giving me a beatdown. And I had a blast at games, gigs, and rehearsals even. The clarinet football team was awesome and proved once again that we are not just a bunch of pansies (hey, what other section would field a female DL?)
I am going to be in Conyers most of the break since there is no San Francisco (or Hawaii) on the horizon. If you are in/near ATL and wanna do something let me know.

Quite the reminder that I don't care about sports

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 13:52:52 GMT

Between the Tech losing to NC State (okay, so I do care about that one), the Falcons losing to the Pats, and the Braves losing to the Astros (in 18), it was just a bad weekend for name-brand Atl sports.
The UWG Braves did win their homecoming game 41-0 vs West Alabama. Its always good to win homecoming just so the alumni can reminisce about the era. I even found myself relating stories of SUWG going to the playoffs... Speaking of the Braves, the school is in search of a new mascot due to new NCAA regulations concerning native american mascots. They have been polling the students for suggestions and opinions, but no good or highly-favored replacement has emerged. I guess its hard to just discard something that you have fought for and lost your voice for so many times. It was good to see everyone that is still there and those that have left, yet still hang around. When the alumni band joined the current rendition on the field, it was almost like old times.

My schedule didn't seem so bad when I made it, I got the classes I needed... But now as it wears in, the long days and constant labs, classes and rehearsals is making me complacent and lethargic. Oh yea, another door closed before I even tried to walk through, but thats another story.
Now there's just a week of tests (read "midterms") that I'm not ready for, before fall break, which I am quite ready for.

In Memoriam

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 03:12:34 GMT

Today, we pause to remember those who died that fateful tuesday morning. All the WTC workers and rescue personnel and plane passengers and crew and those in the Pentagon paid the ultimate price for the hatred of others.
We should also pause to remember those who were on a fourth plane destined for another strategic target, who, being aware of the events already unfolding, banded together to prevent more people on the ground from dying. The sound recordings of the plane's black box have not been released to the public, but the family members who have heard them believe that the plans that the passengers made (as described in multiple phone calls) were carried out. The cockpit was to have been retaken regardless of the threats the hijackers made with knives and a bomb. These people knew of the other planes destruction and that the world had changed. At 10:03am, United Flight 93 crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Many of the 40+ passengers and crew had already spoken with friends and family, knowing that it might be for the last time, and said their goodbyes.
On September 24, 2002, the U.S. Congress passed the Flight 93 National Memorial Act. The act created a new national park unit to "commemorate the passengers and crew of Flight 93 who, on September 11, 2001, courageously gave their lives thereby thwarting a planned attack on our Nation's Capital." A permanent national memorial will be created on the site in Shanksville, Pa., where Flight 93 crashed on September 11, 2001. You can find out more information or contribute to the memorial creation fund by going to: http://www.honorflight93.org
or by purchasing a copy (100% of the proceeds go to the memorial) of the Discovery Channel Recre-Documentary "The Flight that Fought Back" here

Georgia Tech... Tallboy-Styled

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 17:57:08 GMT

So its been three weeks now and I think I have gotten readjusted to school (by that I mean, sleep-deprived, unhealthy-food-eating, not-studying-as-much-as-I-should, and too-much-fun-in-music-classes.) I have two ME classes that I HAVE to do well in (Heat Transfer and Experimental Methodology). Oh, btw, the ME department is changing the curriculum AGAIN , so that will add an hour of a technical writing class or a 3 hour lab class at minimum. I can now elect to not take Energy Systems Design, but it will cost me 6 hours of other ME classes (all of which will be 4000 level or above), so I think I will try and graduate under the 2004-2005 curriculum. This will leave 11 hours of ME in the spring and 4 hours of ME in the summer or next fall. I also may need to retake statics or something to raise my ME GPA. I am still probably lacking some credits for my BS in Physics from Westga, so I have to go talk to the advisor at UWG (yes, that's Dr. Benjamin Hasbun) to find out exactly what I lack. Maybe I can do that during fall break. If I do go summer 06 and graduate, I will need to find some money somewhere. I doubt that what little I netted in Louisville (living costs were higher than expected) will even be enough to cover me through May 06. If not, I should be able to work for Roper or GE again and do one more year of marching band (Yay).
I would like to add a note of congratulations to the GT football team for giving Auburn a royal spanking to break their winning streak. It was a great first game for the season (and for the rat class of '05). I hope the Tigers buck up, reorganize, and crush U(sic)GA when they play Nov. 12. Tomorrow's home opener GT (# 17 w00t) vs. UNC should be a good game with the Jackets coming out on top.

Wow... Its school again...

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:39:54 GMT

Let me preface this by saying that I havent been in school since December and in addition to having to get readjusted to studying, time management and stuff, I am also gonna be dealing with atlanta traffic, 3 classes I have to pass (hopefully do well enough in to bring up my ME GPA) so I have a total of 17 hours which includes 2 labs (I should be in one right now, but we don't meet the first two weeks) and marching band, music theory, and glee club ('No, just Merry.'). My schedule is M 10am-8pm, TR 8am-8pm, WF 10am-6pm with a few staggered breaks scattered in the middle. I will probably be hanging around campus for most of that, so maybe I will get some studying done this time instead of going back to a dorm room to goof off like usual. If I am ever at home, I will try to be on AIM so I don't cut off the non-GT world. Football games and stuff will be taking up most of my Saturdays from now til Thanksgiving, but let me know if something is goin' on. I will try to work around stuff.
I am living with a good friend from Conyers and co-member of my Boy Scout troop back in the day (Ben Jackson), an IsyE major who wants to get into the Secret Service. I don't know the whole story, but apparently his family bought the house (his sister also went to GT) in East Point and now just maintains it. Its an older house, but its nice and has wood floors and central H/AC. My room isn't too big but holds my queen size bed and desk and chair. Lemme know if you want to drop by, I don't mind.
Marching Band started the 16th and we already have pregame, most stands tunes, and half of our first show learned. It is a Stan Kenton and Buddy Rich kinda Big Band show with an arrangement of the Channel 1 Suite similar to that the Blue Devils (DCI) did. We have like 297 marchers of which 29 are clarinets (FRIGGIN COOL). Thirteen of those are new to the band, and I was adopted by a RAT from Woodstock (She's friggin cool too.) I hope I can be the vet I should be to help ease her transition to college, the band, and GT in general.
This fall marks my seventh year in college (counting my 4 semesters of coop). Yes, I feel old (my 25th b'day coming up in september) compared to my freshman year and the incoming freshman now, but I don't regret it, because they say you never stop learning, and I don't feel that I have. I have a total of 3 semesters left, and I am going to try to work in a physics degree from westga and a music certificate from GT if I can do so without extending my stay or dying of a heart attack before then.
I really didn't update during the summer because I stayed so busy. The 8-to-5 coop job for GE appliances in Louisville was more than just 40 hours of work for a check. I had a great experience in true design, experiments, and applying concepts that I was taught, but didn't know that I would use them. All the statistics, fluid dynamics, EE controls and programming, statics, materials, thermo, analysis and rolled up into a project that looked simple from the outset, but required true thought and logistical procedure to bring to a close. After the workday was over, there were 90+ coops who all wanted something to do. We brought back and revitalized weekly poker tournaments, went on weekend excursions to all kinds of places, and had a blast sharing experiences with people in the same situation as ourselves (from all over the SE, NE, and midwest). Okay, so there was some partying too...
I have come to the conclusion that I need a digital camera badly; I'm tired of asking people after the fact to send me pics from . I know I want at least 4MP with 3X op zoom, (10X would be better) so if anybody knows of any good deals, let me know.

The Innovation Secertary was worried about me...

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 13:56:13 GMT

The weeklong heat wave was cited as causing the death of a hiker Monday in Bernheim Forest. Bullitt County Coroner Tommy Kappel said Steven A. Rone, 29, of Louisville, collapsed at about 4:30 p.m. EDT and died about 45 minutes later.

Rone, who frequently hiked at Bernheim, was with a friend who summoned help when he was stricken, Kappel said.

Rone, who was 6-foot-2 and weighed more than 300 pounds, also had a minor heart condition, Kappel said, adding he didn't believe the condition contributed to Rone's death.

A few of the details were off, but it was still pretty close. Good thing I stayed inside yesterday.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:15:42 GMT

The Scary Truth About Your Friends (monty python style) by Mellifera
Username
Has a silly walk	spammyy
Hates spam	imoffthegrass
Weighs the same as a duck	aceiii1984
Sells shrubbery	bronnt
Has an outrageous accent	weirdpassion
Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition	ticklemeredhead
Sells dead parrots	moo13cow13
Ex-leper	stanger765
Has a gweat fwiend in Wome named Biggus Dickus	wolfenuwg
Splitter!	motsuu
Really hates the Romans	infazorak

Quiz created with MemeGen!

And I just watched a movie... and I am taken aback literally. And I guess I can't give all the credit to the screenwriter, I give it to the true author and composer, Andrew Lloyd Weber, a True Angel of Music.

Impulse Buying

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 00:16:13 GMT

I don't often (okay never) buy anything I havent thought about, planned, and saved for (not counting food and stuff under $3).
But tonight I went to Wal-Mart® and bought me a brand spanking new Bicycle! It has probably been 9 years or more since I have been on a bike, and that is sad.
So I bought the cheapest bike they sell and it was on rollback so with tax, it was only $50. I did have to do some adjustments on it in the store (but thats why they stock wrenches in the Hardware department.) No, I didn't damage them, just opened the snap-pouch, used one to fix the seat, and tightened the front brakes.
So thats it. I have a bike now.

The Summer barrels by...

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 20:26:20 GMT

I have been here for 4 weeks now and the summer is flying by. The work is pretty good... a lot of time in the lab doing testing, but thats a big part of my job description. I also sat through 2 reviews (design and electronics) and was amazed at what the engineers go through here (compared to Roper) to implement new products and features from the beginning. There is an incredible amount of technical stuff you have to know (everything that you should have learned in class plus stuff that is specific to our product.) At least now I know that even though I may not want to work in Appliances career-wise, should I decide to stay, that it will be challenging and at least a little interesting.
Louisville as a town is okay I guess, there's plenty of stuff to do (mostly from co-op activities, since there's like 90 of us), but I have a big theatre 2 blocks from home and every kind of food you could want nearby. (except my mama's, which I guess I wouldn't get much of, but it would be a seven-to-eight hour drive if i just got a hankerin). I do miss people, from GT and UWG and Conyers, but this has given me a chance to meet a whole new group of people in the same place I am.
Anybody down there miss me too? :-) I was going to try to be down there the week of july 4th, but now I don't know if GE will give me credit for my time at Roper. I'll let ya know one way or the other.

Anybody not seen Star Wars III yet? What is wrong with you?!? Go see it! Now! Get up from your chair, put on a pair of shoes and hightail it to the nearest theatre.

~Stephen

Random GE stuff

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 00:25:36 GMT

I just got my new ID badge It looks kinda weird mostly cause the guy took 4 quick pics and was done b4 i was ready. http://www.srowan.com/images/GE_badge.jpg

Does your place of work have 12k parking places?
http://shorterlink.com/?CZP44L

PETA keeps records of Everything!!

Tue, 17 May 2005 13:31:37 GMT

August 24, 2001: Ringling was fined $200.00 by the city of San Jose, Calif., for allowing a yak to run at large and cause a public nuisance.

Lord of the Rings: 1200 pages in 30 seconds

Tue, 10 May 2005 19:11:35 GMT

http://fun.drno.de/pics/english/LOTR.gif

‘Facts’ of life you learn from the movies:

Tue, 10 May 2005 19:00:49 GMT

* Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
* At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
* Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the correct one.
* Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
* It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, because each of your enemies will dance around in a threatening manner, while patiently waiting to attack you one by one by until you have knocked out each of their predecessors.
* When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, though just slightly bluish.
* If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
* Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving things such as fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, so as to allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
* All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
* All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
* It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
* You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
* Should you wish to pass yourself off as either a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak that country’s language. A German or Russian accent will do.
* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
* If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while wearing only their most revealing underwear and nothing more.
* Word processing programs never display a cursor on screen, but will always say: "Enter Password Now."
* All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
* Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
* When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
* If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

~Knicked from Geekasaurus

Random Questions

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 14:36:26 GMT

Why ask Why...
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

How did a fool and his money get together?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Quiz results

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 18:52:29 GMT

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% Dixie

45% General American English

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

You Should Try Roller Skiing

A little more dangerous than snow skiing
But who cares when you can ski to the grocery store?

What Extreme Sport Should You Try?